


Red and Blue

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Alternate Universe - No Sgrub Session, Ancestors (Homestuck), Angst, Blood and Injury, Canon Disabled Character, Disabled Character, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fire, Fluff and Angst, Healing, Helmstroll Sollux Captor, Helmstrolls, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Karkat Hates Himself, Karkat Needs a Hug, Loss of Limbs, Major Character Injury, Medical Inaccuracies, Medical Procedures, Minor Gamzee Makara/Karkat Vantas, Multi, POV Kanaya Maryam, POV Karkat Vantas, POV Sollux Captor, Purring Trolls (Homestuck), Rebellionstuck, Sadstuck, Some Humor, Some Plot, Surgery, Whump, Whumptober 2020, not as depressing as it sounds, solkat - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:14:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27149233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "(F)our minutes ago, a fire started. Almost as soon as the alarms shrieked, the ship became illuminated in colors warmer than rogue blood. Its steel walls caused the heat to cluster. Everything smoked and burned and you remembered, *Sollux couldn't fucking move.*
Relationships: Kanaya Maryam & Karkat Vantas, Kanaya Maryam/Equius Zahhak, Nepeta Leijon & Equius Zahhak, Sollux Captor & Aradia Megido, Sollux Captor & Equius Zahhak, Sollux Captor/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 3
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

Equius glares at the ipad in his hands, then at his friend's body hanging limply in violet threads of electrical wire. A sigh passes his lips. 

CentaursTesticle [CT] has begun trolling airship_control  
CT: D --> You have to be removed, seriously.  
2hould ii keep u2 iin the trajectory of thii2 enemy fleet?

_The sigh extends._

CT: D --> Your face is telling me that's a lie.   
my face i2n't 2howiing any emotiions. ii dont thiink iit can even... ii gue22... can iit...?  
CT: D --> You are correct, it cannot. Both of us are lying, and might I add "for no good reason"? Do begin to withdraw while I remove your disgusting "flesh" body from the biowires.  
ahh iit hurt2 2o much to be taken out  
CT: D --> That is because you never attempt to make any part of this transition easy on yourself, lowb100d. Training helm sets are meant to be painless for insertion and extraction. I suppose I can wait five more minutes, but...  
oh pretty plea2e eq ówò *eye2 2parkle*  
CT: D --> I may forcibly remove you if you're going to play like that, lowb100d.  
don't. ii need 5 miinute2 actually  
CT: D --> ...  
hey! that'2 an order. get your 2weaty liittle paw2 off the control panel.  
CT: D --> ...You've been invading my privacy, haven't you? Reading my, um, OLD conversations with Aradia.  
dude 2he could've ju2t told me what freaky 2hiit you were iin two whiile ii wa2 on break. 2he'2 my ex but we're 2tiill a2 clo2e a2 moiiraiil2.  
CT: D --> ......  
2he thiink2 your paiiliing techniique ii2 floppy ii mean 2loppy  
CT: D --> Shut up.   
break me ii mean make me  
what diifference doe2 iit make? tho2e are both very kiinky reque2t2 lol-  
AH  
ahh fuck my eye2 are burniing   
EQ WHAT ARE YOU DOIING  
sweet mother of gl'bgol-

You do, then don't, see the light! Being spit out of the biowires is a lot like being thrown out of the sea by an angry subject of Poseidon. You cough on land and mentally scan for your arms. You find them soon enough but could be faster. It's like your processers are gone, which you remind yourself, they kinda are.

"Can you stand up?" Equius' calm voice wafts over your pathetic flesh.

"Yeah, duh, just give me a minute," you tell him and pull at the bar provided for this exact situation. You hoist yourself up, wobbling around to its side. He nods with satisfaction because something about how you're getting "stronger" or whatever.

"Attend a nice meal and whatever else it is you do on break. If you notice anything weird about your body, contact a crew mate and don't move until my arrival."

"My body?" You blink, then suddenly, look down at your hands. You play with your fingers like an impotent child learning how to count and understand. "Oh, yeah. Got it."

"Good."

"The tranthithon is always soo fuzzy. Is that normal?"

"The what?"

"Tranthithon. Tranthithon. Tranth- Ah fuck it!" Your teeth clamp down on your stupid tongue for not being able to pronounce the word.

"I think I understand," he consoles. "It's unfortunately normal to feel a little 'fuzzy' when you go from being a gravitationless mass of thoughts to a troll again."

"That makes sense." You sigh and wander to thoughts of calling Kk. Of course, you're met with the realization you need your palm husk, and you need to _get_ your palm husk, and your palm husk is _not_ in the helmsroom. 

Equius leaves with his chart/ipad in hand, patting you on the shoulder rather than therapeuting your dumb fleshy thoughts. You growl.

**Distraction time!**

The introduction margin was quite a while ago, but whatever. You are Sollux Captor, occasional pilot to the most feared ship in the empire. Thanks to Feferi's presence, your buckwild flight patterns, Vriska/Eridan's duel commanding, and the signless reincarnate, ship Mirthful Pony Assholes' Gallopalo0za was finally a combination of words that _didn't_ engender a _smile_. Being the helm, you took great pride in this. The rebellion started 4 sweeps ago, meaning you were now an adult troll at the height of your psionic ladder.

You discover your palmhusk behind your respiteblock and open Kk's dms! Your brain hisses you could have been faster about it, but you try to flip it off.

 **show pesterlog**  
TA: hey kk, ii'm free from now untiil 1800  
TA: whiich iis iin 2.3339 hour2 not that ii'm countiing  
TA: let'2 play viideogame2  
CG: OH THANK FUCK YOU'RE OKAY.  
TA: uh why wouldn't ii be  
CG: YOU LOOKED COMPLETELY *DEAD?* I WAS REALLY WORRIED THAT SOMETHING 'MISFIRED' AND YOUR BRAIN WAS FILLING WITH FLUIDS.  
OR WORSE.  
I FREAKED MY SHIT  
YOU LOOKED LIKE A TROLL SALVADOR DALI PAINTING OF A BLOOD HOUND.  
CG: JUST "HANGING" FROM YOUR "BIOWIRES"  
TA: eq didn't 2ay iif there wa2 a problem 2o ii thiink what you 2aw wa2 normal? haven't you 2een me liike that before though?  
CG: NO, I ALMOST NEVER GO IN THERE WHEN YOU'RE, YOU KNOW, AND I NEVER LOOKED AT YOU DURING IT UNTIL TODAY.  
TA: why not? aren't ii cute iin my 2kiin tiight helm 2uiit?  
CG: YES, BUT YOU LOOK TERRIFYING WHEN YOU'RE WEARING THAT THING AND HANGING FROM A GAZILLION PURPLE BIOCABLES, SAUCE PAN.  
I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU IN A COMPROMISING POSITION ON LIFE SUPPORT. DO I EVEN HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT?  
TA: helmiing ii2n't liike beiing on liife 2upport. yeah each wire take2 away functiion2 2omeone liike you would con2iider nece22ary, but ii'm 2tiill viigiilant and able to do almo2t everythiing my2elf  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK.  
I DON'T CARE.  
SHUT UP.   
TA: kk? can you focu2 and giive me an an2wer on the thiing?  
CG: WHAT THING?  
TA: viideogame2!! ii 2wear to god kk you never 2tay focu2ed in conver2atiion.%dumb×-mutant must[be;eradicated%%  
CG: WHAT  
SOLLUX, ARE YOU OK? WHAT WAS THAT?  
TA: ERROR;&dg name [SOLLUX] not found*?  
CG: OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD   
SOLLUX, HANG IN THERE, IM GETTING EQUIUS TO FIX YOU  
TA: eheheheh   
CG: OH. DID YOU DO ALL THAT TO MAKE ME FEEL DUMB OR SHIT MY PANTS?  
BECAUSE NEITHER WORKED.  
TA: ju2t a liittle biit of <3< play  
CG: THAT WAS NOT <3<. YOU CANNOT USE MY WORST FEARS AGAINST ME AND SAY IT'S JUST "<3<", SOLLUXANDER CAPTOR. I'M SERIOUSLY PISSED OFF NOW  
TA: waiit ii diidn't know that wa2 one of your wor2t fear2  
CG: REALLY?  
TA: ye2 ii 2wear ii had no iidea iit wa2 that bad. maybe we 2hould talk about thii2 later?  
TA: uhh  
TA: look  
TA: plea2e come over, and II PROMII2E, we can talk about iit after viideogame2. <3<3>?  
CG: FINE. <3<3>

A little bit later, you're turning off the 32 inch tv and setting down your controller. Karkat stares at the last few seconds of the screen with dangerous intent, then does the same, but makes sure to place his controller neatly where it (probably) won't be stepped on.

"GODDAMN IT! I WAS RIGHT THERE-"

You double over in laughter. "I warned you about that stage bro."

"FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR STUPID GAME!"

"Can you tell I'm rolling my eyes because that's my next contribution to this converthathon," you say as you pull a couch blanket around your shoulders.

Karkat climbs to his feet like he's earned his sea legs and sits beside you comfortably. The candy corn nubs soften as does his face before he exasperates, "You promised."

"I what?" He stares on with incredulous, dark eyes as if you've forgotten something as important as his own wriggling day. Then his cheeks get red, redder than you think you've ever seen, and he explodes in one clean sweep.

"We were gonna talk about your helming bullshit, fuckass!"

"Oh yeah, I was gonna tell you to stop acting like a bitchy little know-it-all when you can't even tell the difference between a spinal wire and a cerebral one! Now I have." You chew your tongue and press the cushions.

"You're not going to sleep and Zahhak won't let you work for another half hour so _DON'T_ act like we have to end this conversation here." He pouts. "I'm so proud that you're contrubuting to the rebellion, you don't even know, but doing research... helming can be quite dangerous. I saw the most disgusting video of a psionic getting culled because he lost higher brain function. And he was inserted properly. Well, they said that at least. But it went so _so_ wrong. Poor guy. Ahhh. I'm freaking out, what if that happens to you?"

You clap your hands and gaze at him sternly without reply. The truth is, you know the dangers, you just aren't afraid of them anymore. Ever since Feferi... begged you to try it, you tethered to the helm block like a sloth to a tree, like a drug. 

"If it does then... it does. You guys wouldn't cull me if I got electrocuted into full retard mode right?"

"SOLLUX!" He screams, forcing your apathy to go away. His bangs shake as he cries and holds his head thereafter. Soon, the throes of his black hair become fields, and his soft hands plow through them obsessively.

You're positive it's a panic attack, but you don't know the right thing to say, so you grab his arms and rub small circlettes until his skin begins to tender. Much to your amusement, he purrs and leans on your chest, asking for heat.

"I'll be ok..." 


	2. Ring of fire

_-he unwittingy lied straight to your gay face._ This time, you are Karkat Vantas, and four minutes ago, a fire started. Almost as soon as the alarms shrieked, the ship became illuminated in colors warmer than rogue blood. Its steel walls caused the heat to cluster. Everything smoked and burned and you watched. You threw your sweater over your mouth, admittedly still in shock.

No one knew how it started, but questions were not being asked. Running was being done. It was a need for any observant troll. A nearby plume of smoke explodes into pitch black darkness, which covers the whole passage way you stand in front of. 

Flames dance excitedly in the distance and melt priceless tubes, you don't know what they're for anyway. They seem way too giddy about destruction and tear off ceiling panels without any effort. You draw your sickle, feeling you could just... It's only for a moment that your brain is bombarded by the idea of killing them.

Your brows furrow. The fire cannot be killed, idiot. " _Sollux,"_ you say to yourself. Their laughter haunts you and so you try to ignore it, then suddenly, the smoke pulls at your lungs. You swat every which way like a lunatic, but your sickle does nothing to cut through anything, which infuriates you further. 

The swashing is ended by a variety of chills going down your neck. You turn around, trying to remember where the helmblock is. Sollux's name echoes everywhere.

The sound returns like a dove carrying a map in a bottle. Your brain knows where to go. But every turn it foretells would tour uninhabitable patches of air, burning hot and hotter. Everything burns anyway. You start to run.

You tackle through hallways clumsily and brush forlorn embers out of your hair. It's best to ignore the sweat under your clothes, keep your mind on your friend, and-

When the ship is standing on its last legs, you splash against a molted metal door, hugging it. However, your reward lays inside, most likely dying of smoke inhalation. 

"SOLLUX? IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, I'M GOING TO GET YOU OUT. JUST STAY CALM!"

There isn't a voice, a scream, nor echo. Clearly, he's staying calm unlike you.

"SOLLUX?" You yell again, scratching your sickle between the double doors. You try to cut the lockey-machination. They break apart just enough so that you can shove your hand in and attempt to pry them open. 

Your first ever miracle, is that this actually works.

You then clamber into the high tech block, catching your breath. It's dark and blue. The second thing you notice is a child of the fire playing with Sollux's biowires.

You aggrieve the little fuck with unbridled rage. Your sweater, pulled over your hand, smothers its glow, and then you look at him. Sweat rolls down his face as if he has been watching the danger surround him for some time now. Other than that, he's paralyzed, living in cyber space.

You hope that he's at peace, but you cannot fool yourself. You've listened to him describe being in the helm one too many times. He could see the fire, there was no doubt. He knew what was happening but was forced to stand among it and die.

The coils of wire on the floor were connected to his spine. The ones which hung from the ceiling pulled back his arms. His goggles switched red and blue signals, and his mouth was agape. He looked just like his ancestor apparently... Your heart snaps and you dart towards the control panel so fast that your sweater-mask begins to fall down your face.

You finally smell the toxic fumes and thank God there's a ventilator for Sollux even if you aren't sure it's still working. Fearfully, you hit the touchpad and beg every prompt you shove out of the way to release him. Once it does, he tumbles out like rocks.

You're just fast enough to catch him. Then you cradle his head in your arms. In the places where he usually has the biowires, his skin's all mutilated. That is to say, those spots are charred to the bone, leaving too much to be desired. You determine them to be 5th degree burns before you can turn your head away.

"Kk...?" He mouths weakly. You wonder if he's trying to scream your name but can't find his voice or something. A part of you also kind of _knows_ too...

You pull him closer and pick him up, decaptchaloging your weapon. "Shoosh." You pap softly.

In less than a second, you're off through the doors with Sollux hanging around your neck for dear life. It's the best that you can carry him, which you almost can't do. He was light as hell but one lanky motherfucker.

At every obstacle on your way to the escape pods, you think of how to get him across first, safely, and you second. The flames grow higher. The black smoke thickens. The smell of jet fuel begins to replace oxygen, but you're about to hit your goal-

When suddenly, a piece of the ceiling swings infront of you, licked in orange and gold. Then another. By the time you look up, that part of ceiling is falling too. Oh god oh god oh-

It lands above you, in Sollux's signature red and blue psionics.

However, he looks utterly comatose as the incendiary is thrown aside. Definately no one else did that, right? "Sollux, don't fucking hurt yourself," you hiss. As you stand still, baking for _just_ a moment, someone calls your name.

It's as hazy as the sky and quickly the river going by your ears overshadows it. You don't know what's happening to you until your vision begins to fold in with dark spots when, ironically, you achieve clairvoyance. You also drop to the floor, losing hold of your friend.

**== > continue story**


	3. Chapter 3

Your back feels like it's on ice. You pull away with all the energy of a shelled slime beast, and a towel delicately pats your forehead. It takes one minute to process thin white sheets over your torso, Nepeta at your side, and the scent of anesthetics. So basically, a hospital room with a cat girl.

Your brain, meaning to say her name, makes a big slip. "Sollux?" 

"I'm- no. Oh wait!" She assumes you actually meant what you said like an autistic fuck. "He's asleep in another room!"

You breath in, forever grateful she answered. Despite the agonizing bruise upon your spine, you find yourself able to curl your legs with ease. 

"So... someone came back to save us? Who should receive the pleasure of hearing how much my fucking back hurts?"

"Feferi and me, but I've already heard you complain about your back for days lol~"

"Didn't I just wake up..?"

"I suppose you did, but be-fur this moment you were screaming incoherently and... your brain was hurting way worse than whatever you're feeling meow. You probably have post traumatic amnesia if you can't remember the week after the accident..."

"What happened to... Sollux?" You ask.

It's terrifying when she doesn't answer immediately like before, and your eyes dilate. Her name leaves your lips a thousand times but all too low to hear as she rubs her arm.

"He's um... in a coma with Feferi, Equius, and Kanaya all trying to take care of him. And Eridan, but I guess he's not allowed to help directly."

"A what? Don't answer that." Your sense of comfort drips to the floor. Actually, it fucking pours. The floor is a torrential flood of any comfort that you felt when you woke up here, and you're as dry as a bone. "When is he gonna wake up?"

"We don't... know?" The girl squeaks, keeping calm but also sounding empathetic. You pull off the sheets, briefly assess this hospital gown business, and swing both feet over the edge. Nepeta ensures you move as slowly as possible and even makes you lean on her when you stand up.

"Take me to him, Jesus Nepeta!"

"You're going to hurt yourself," her voice trails off, sounding gravelly.

* * *

The second ward is sickly. After sanitizing your hands with Nepeta, you're let in like a ghost passing through a graveyard. Sollux is plastered to a bed, fast asleep, uncannily, and looks terrifying. A gazillion- a couple- wires- cannulas- dangle from his hands. They were there to administer antibiotics and saline just like he recieved snacks to test some bioware-capabilities before.

His hospital gown looks wetter than yours. You wonder why, but just then, Kanaya who had been searching for the perfect blanket asks, "What do you think you're doing?"

The liquid inside your head boils. "Visiting."

"Sorry if I came across particularly irritable," she replies. "Nepeta, your moirail needs to stop by my room later." That gets you thinking too.

"Where the fuck is Feferi? Can't she fix this with a wave of her stupid magic hand?" You shout to expel the high intensity steam in your pan. Even Kanaya, the most eloquent troll in the fucking universe, startles. She quickly lays out Sollux's blanket and presses a damp clothe against his burn marks.

After holding and releasing her breath, she makes a detached remark. "She can't. She tried so hard that I think if he survives, his life span will be longer than her _own._ That girl's love is something you've never seen before, Karkat. Please have a seat if you want to talk about this."

You pull a chair closer to the bed of the unrecognizable troll.

It feels like there are only two people in the room so you never take your other senses away from him. He looks as frail as fish bones, always has, but the fact that he can't move his arms _an inch_ makes it all the worse. He's anorexic. Terezi would later describe how his scent became less "saffron" and more "smokey." Yeah, his skin feels and smells like he had been an oven for 2 hours.

You grab your face and ask Kanaya if you can play with his hand, which is a _really_ bad way of saying "hold". Luckily, she lets you lock fingers at least until she needs to adjust the IV.

"It's quiet." You tear up.

"It gets better, Karkat."

His chest depletes, controlled by another tube going far down his throat. The tears in your eyes fall out easily as you watch his head _not even turn_ on the pillow. Kanaya being here doesn't help you one bit, even though you know she's fixing him up with a fuck ton of drugs.


	4. Chapter 4

One week later, Sollux "wakes" up. You dress up in his favorite sweater for him and walk down to his room, this time independently. The usual suspects are already there, except Eridan and half the team. To keep him safe from his own brain doing processing somersaults, only you, Aradia, Kanaya, Equius, and Feferi stand in.

Nevermind that- _he's stirring._

His head rolls to the side of the pillow. Kanaya bites her lip, a bit disappointed. "He said my name when I was replacing the blankets this morning," she tries to justify calling everybody in. "I thought that maybe he was... Gosh, I should've waited for him to sound more coherent"

"It's fine," everyone including yourself say solemnly to her. You still think that today is the day he's "woken up"; he's just asleep for real right now. Like the coma is over, and now he can't talk because he feels like he's missed out on years of sleep.

"How is he getting sopor?" You ask.

Equius begins to move toward the machines and read to himself, but comments. "Intravenously."

"Like everything else."

Just then, Sollux's head rolls back on to the pillow, and you swear no one touched him so... He's really getting up on his own and everybody's breaths hitch all at once.

False alarm- his elbows give out.

False false alarm? A raspy voice comes from the head-end of his bed.

"Fuck all of you. Where ith my body?"

You want your ears to _die._ He sounds like he's whispering while having his bulge crushed, and that hurts you to think about. It hurts even more because of the state of his body. Your mind begins to run away, too scared to deal with the pain in his voice. Your mind also stops your mind from running away and you step towards your friend.

"If you mean your torso and extremities, they are below your neck. Although your _entire body_ is in a remote hospital on whichever planet was closest to us when the fire destroyed our star ship like an imperial drone does a lopsided rust grub," Aradia takes lead.

You can't think of what to say, and you're not actually jealous that _she_ can because honestly you aren't sure if she's talking to Sollux or some paint huffing junkie. 

He lisps worse than usual. "Thith ith not my body. Thith ith ath much my body ath I am troll Lebron Jameth'th body!"

"Oh. I see."

"You're a witch," he coughs, then cries. "I can't feel my entire body pleathe help me I-"

"Sh, we'll figure it out! Ok?" You pet his cheek before the waterworks befall your feet.

* * *

A day later, you figure out how to work with Sollux in harmony. He turns his head when you walk in, you spoon feed him soupy meal replacements, you talk for all the alotted time and let him know he's loved. 

Apparently, he's in this exact predicament because you fucked up extracting him from the biowires. He was doing too much at once, trying to stop the fire, and your smooth moves got his brain to seize up and lose track of his arms.

No one told you that you only had yourself to blame; they just told you this was a fact. That hurt even more. You factually crippled your best friend. 

The burns were still an issue. They didn't stop being an issue. They were gonna graft ass skin over his arms one day to make it all look better or something.

You notice a bowl of cluck beast noodles in your lap, then notice you're awkwardly shoving a spoon in Sollux's face.

"Will you thtop that. You look more out of it than me, Kk," he snaps.

"Yeah th- sorry. I can't think like this. Can you just jump out of bed and start singing about how you found a golden ticket? It'd be a big help to my psyche even if your vocal chords sound like they've been through a cheese grater."

"And if I don't?" He daunts.

"Then fuck you." You smile and jostle his spikey hair. "I got good news from Zahhak. Since your paralyzing wasn't caused by spinal damage, it's totally possible that you're gonna be walking again. We gotta get a physical therapist aboard our next ship because it's gonna take a while."

"Just cull me..." 

"No. Don't even- that's not funny." You hit him in his unfeeling shoulder.

"Ow," he does another one of his _**hilariousidies**_ again and you burn with anger. You're instantly snapping at him to stop. "You never like any of my joketh..."

"MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T JOKE ABOUT KILLING YOURSELF I'D FIND THEM _REALLY_ CHARMING, SOLLUX." You fall back into your chair, pitying the way his frame shrinks when you yell. Apologetically, you return to an approachable volume as well as console said shoulder. "So... how do you feel about physical therapy-"

"It's fine. I never thaid I wath oppothed to it, I jutht... it'th tho lame I can't get up right now and kith you." He stares at the ceiling as if mentally tossing a rubber ball into the air.

"Wow thanks, lardass." You blush. Half of you is sure he's being sarcastic, but of course a boy can dream. 


	5. Graphic surgical procedures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just a literary surgical procedure so you can skip it if that's not your thing. And also this is the first chapter im writing a note for so i might as well ask you guys a few things. How's the writing? Is this too ooc? Im especially unsure about my depiction of nepeta and aradia. What can i improve? Ps report typos to me! Thanks for reading xo

You are now Sollux. Life is an icey blue, which is a significant improvement for you because you were almost starting to feel **warm.** It is the 13th perigree of your current sweep and also the day you will receive skin surgery as per Feferi's request. Though you would've asked to have skin back on your unfeeling arms anyway, it's nice she's making you, you guess.

Your friend Karkat once again comes to psyche you up. It's like he's the only person watching you before and after every major event. You forget to tell him how scared you are that everyone else has discarded you for being this way, _even if it isn't your fault._

Sunlight herself offers you a hand and you scowl. "Kn, what do you expect me to do?" Your arms are useless at your sides. She just giggles and does something that pops your bed off the wall. Then the graceful, slender women drags you through the quaint hospital halls.

As curious as you've been to see this place, you wish you could hide under a blanket. You just feel _weird_ being rolled to a surgical ward on a bed. Perhaps you looked weird to others whom were around you? You didn't stick out though? Quite the opposite. Carapacians- "cara-patients"- who were in similar situations haunted cots of their own. They're hard to look at but you find them adorable in their doll-like dresses and face masks.

Finally, Kanaya pulls you through two large doors which open like the gates of heaven. You catch sight of Equius in scrubs he would consider "peasanty" and a black and white carapacian dyad. 

"Hey, Eq. Damn, it feels like _**forever**_ ago."

His tongue juts out, followed by a hiss. "Lang- Oh why do I bother with your kind?"

"Hot _and_ racist??"

"Go to sleep, ragmuffin." His eyes roll cutely. You smile and _consider_ baiting him into a concupiscent argument, thwarted by your self reservations. The desire can't be anything more than your loneliness eating at you, so you remind yourself that Kk cares and always has! A boring sigh still passes your lips as everyone but you moves into action.

You circum to silence and lazily analyze the OR. "This is going to pinch _juuuust_ a bit." Kanaya's voice is a rock in the sea of steralized monitors and anti-septics. You watch her push something into your wrist without saying a word. Despite putting your tongue on rest willfully, you continue to think of brilliant, colorful, and **blunt** comments. Like that you can't even _feel_ the pinch. It's dumb. 

"Eq," you say again, knowing full well your voice is almost as disgusting as you, "Are you here to make me a cool ath robot? Becauth, what if that ithn't what I want? It'th jutht what I thought I wanted..? And I think I really want to be human. Yethhh, I want to be human! Whatever that _meanth."_

_"Drugs are working. He should pass out in T-minus one minute."_

Equius, as he adjusts a mask over your face, comforts you by awkwardly petting your hair. "There's no robotics involved, fear is the most unnecessary thing to feel. We told you everything that would happen. I swear on my moirail." 

"Yeth, take care of me highblo-od" your voice trails off funnily like a slow motion car crash. Then you see the void of nothingness and wonder where you landed, and how you even moved all the sudden.

For a moment you wonder if you can feel someone hold your hand.

**Error: You can no longer be Sollux.**

**...Be Kanaya?**

**You are now Kanaya.**

After settling your friend in to a deep rest, you pick through a pan of surgical tools. The dyad quietly goes to rub towelettes on his gnarled arms and legs. Your fingers curl around the handle of a razor sharp instrument that is meant to peel away his unscathed skin. It jumps in to your clutches like a grub who has been staring down a specific lusus for far too long, and you tense at the _idea_ of young life.

With it brandished and "ready", you approach the side of the operating table and arrange his body correctly. Equius thinks of jumping in, but it's a simple task which you do in no less than thirty seconds. Sollux has to be parallel with the bed so that everyone who is capable enough to be in here can access his back. It's where the meat of the pre-selected donor skin is.

You begin to roll the razor in the space below his grub scars, where you feel the most (and only) fatty tissue. A thin layer comes off like snow scraped from a windshield and you back away. This is expected. This is _fine._ But this is an uncomfortable thing to watch in spite of all your medical training since becoming the "nurse of the rebellion."

None of that means you want to stop though. You take the graft and walk towards the counter that encloses a third of the room, looking for a "lathe-like" machine called a "mesher." You're familiar with using them to stretch fabrics and grow confident when you spot the toaster-sized contraption. You feed it his skin- _'Aurrrgh, Kanaya, why did you say it like that?'_ Your thoughts protrude. Then count the clicks your tongue can make til it dings.

Over by Sollux, Equius hooks cannulas to the darkest patches of his wounds. Many of them are where skin will be transplanted soon in order to keep fluids from building up, putting the grafts at jeopardy. He works in a strangely calm manner, same as you. Now that you think about it, he might even be more calm because he's familiar with inserting his biowires.

You on the other hand, experience familiarity when the mesher stops. You carefully extract the skin and critique your work. There are 612 pinpricks, thus making it a mesh. The size is successfully increased by this, and you come back to your peers.

"That looks perfect, miss Maryam," the white carapacian, TE, says. You thank her and hold it between your eye and Sollux's arms, watching it cover the damaged areas like magic. Of course you _really_ have to layer it on him.

You concentrate with a gaze a seamstress knows well and apply a portion of mesh to his burnt arm. At first, it looks like someone put a grey blanket over his scathing injuries, _and not a particularly good one at that,_ but you know it will pull together.

You're done and step out of everyone's way. "Surgical staples?" DC, the dark carapacian demands so you busy yourself with finding them. Meanwhile, Equius takes several notes of the monitors.

"Heart rate- elevated- tachycardia-"

"What?" Your eyes feel like they might gush out of your skull. You whip towards them, Sollux then Equius, seeing one passed out body and three terrified looks. You're a-shaking madly. "What did you guys do in the _second_ I turned around?" 

The indigo raises his hands. "Kanaya, it's not anyone's fault. He's-" You watch him rush to your small friend and hold in tears. Equius holds his legs to his chest and injects him with an anti-arrhythmic. "Frankly, I'm not even sure what happened." TE runs to get carapacian cardiologists, DC sets down his tools seeing the problem as it dissipates, and you let go of your shirt. 

"That's not unheard of, but I've never... actually... seen a blood pusher do that. It gave me quite the scare."

"Same here," He states. He slowly lets his body back on the cold operating table.

"We're almost done. Thank God"

You notice his hands are shaking like he expects another horrific accident to occur. Before you can say something, TE and a petite woman of cream carapace come through the door. Light breaks free for a fleeting moment. They speak to each other in their native tongue, making you and Equius feel left out.

"We'll staple the mesh for you- 'DeeSee' has been dying to do that actually! Go on, you leave us alone," TE says in broken Alternian, but you kick into a semi-automatic response. "We're not leaving him."

"Got to go fast, you do! We'll take his care."

"Do you even fucking know how troll anatomy works-" Equius grabs your horns and pulls you away. He shares a hint of madness towards the doctors so, before you push him to the floor, you follow his lead.

"This is bullshit!" You flip off the woman, wishing you had your chainsaw in a lady-like tantrum.

"Do _**not**_ do this in here."


	6. Chapter 6

**Be-**

**Oh. You're already trying to be them?**

**Be Vriska.**

**(Aha. Like you could ever. Pluuuuuuuus she's not really in this story)**

**Narrator bullshit ×2**

**Be Karkat**

**You are now Karkat.**

You're sitting beside _his_ bed- no, you're sitting beside him. It's terrifying that it doesn't feel like it though. He's in a comatic state before the drugs wear off. You've heard Kanaya complain about his surgery in ways that make you nervous, but she assures you that whatever happened was "fixed" and she's only upset with the carapacians.

His hospital gown has been taken, though he's been given shorts, so that electrodes can pepper his chest. They trace back to a "cardiogram" which is just a big tv with an awful beeping noise. Every beat denotes... his blood pusher moving, you think.

As annoying as it is, it doesn't make you angry, because you think if it stops, he'll be... 

You rub your wet eyes...

The post surgery room is just a 4x4 square foot section of the hospital cut off by curtains. You think you walked through here before actually. This was like... A hallway? But bigger? Hospitals were so weird. 

Just as you think about architecture, Equius comes in. He shoves the veil out of his way like it's a branch and stands behind you.

"Hey, sweat-hole, just gonna voyeur over there or-"

"I was wondering if you knew how he was doing and if you wanted any comfort since your um, moirail, I think- Kanaya, can't be in here."

" _Well._ The heart thing has been making _that_ sound for 20 fucking minutes. Is that any good?"

"Yes. It's ideal actually."

You feel a weight being lifted off your shoulders. "And by the way, Kanaya isn't my moirail these days. She got with Terezi if you haven't noticed."

"Do you have one?"

"Get your flank off my grill, dickhead. I don't know what quadrants I have anymore. Sollux kind of filled all of them then I started pushing people who _weren't_ him away. I guess the only other person I stayed close friends with over the years was Gamzee, but I was just afraid of what he'd do if I left him after Tavros..."

"Um..."

"So is Nepeta still your moirail? Wait, that's a dumb question. Of course she is. I think Kanaya even mentioned it."

"Yes. We've remained relatively the same all these sweeps."

"Rebellions are hard. They're hard and no one understands. Fuuuuck. This is a better conversation for another time. I'm kind of waiting on him."

"Did I help you wait?" His mouth quirks.

"What? No!"

"Look at him, Karkat."

You turn up and see his head rustling in the pillow like a baby lusus. A groan escapes his lips suddenly, and you squee with delight. "Bro, oh god! I thought it'd be another two weeks before you woke up!" You hug him, minding the new bandages.

"Your skin looks great," you lie. Anything to see him happy. But he 'tsk's. This is when you pull away to examine his whole body, and Equius speaks up.

"Hello again, Captor. I've requested a wheelchair for you, allowing more mobility than previously, but you mustn't go anywhere on your own _and_ you still should stay in bed as long as you can manage."

"A wheelchair? Well that'th gonna bring up thome harth memorieth." He mumbles. "My armth don't work. It'th not like... One of thothe weird wholly motorized oneth ith it?"

"Just a normal one that you need someone to push you in." He shrugs. "Probably Karkat, Nepeta, Aradia, would offer-"

"Kk, can you take me to the food court?"

"Sure." You smile as his innocent eyes get too big for his head. "Get the fuck out, Equius. Grab that wheelchair and let me take him."

He stares at you before rolling his eyes harder than a bone bulge made of cement- wait where did that comparison come from- He places his hand on your head.

"What are you doing?"

"Watching our dear lilliputian leader throw a hissy fit."

"A what? I'm not throwing anything!" You scream and swing your arms at the taller troll. His hand acts like a wall which you keep grasping to no avail. This is bullshit.

This is all bullshit.

"That'th thuper cute but can you guyth hurry up?" Sollux complains over the sounds of your short breaths and nonsensical cursing.

* * *

_"-Can't start physical therapy for 5 days because of that surgery-"_

_"-Can't find a licensed physician who wants to board our next ship-"_

_"-Can't put out a galaxy wide advertisement because we're criminals-"_

_"-Even Feferi-"_

_"-Then you train him! You're stronger than all of these carpeticians or whatever the fuck they're called **combined-"**_

_"-I will try but having him train with me is different than having a **real** specialist who knows what they're doing help out-"_

_"-We have enough time here to get his arms moving, but after that, we need to-"_

_"-Do you guys even remember how hard it was to have Tavros on our team?-"_

_"-Karkat? Quit crying. This is all your fault we're here, but that doesn't mean you should mope around these hotel rooms-"_

_"-Shut the fuck up, Vriska-"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't outright say this at the beginning, but this is a no sgrub/sburb story. It's in the tags actually but does anyone ever read all of those? Plus some tags are attention grabbing bullshit in my opinion.  
> This means since Aradia is alive that the pre-sgrub flarp game had different outcomes. Vriska made Tavros jump off a cliff and that was where the shenanigans ended. Terezi isn't blind, Vriska has her arm and eightfold vision, Equius doesn't make Tavros robot legs but he *does* create robots to spar with and names one after Aradia as a gift.  
> Kanaya is actually a lot closer to Sollux and Karkat than I'm writing her because I feel like it was just talking to the humans that split them apart? I'm not saying they're in quadrants but they *are* closer  
> Yep that's all the notes for now on this shitty story. I'm thinking of doing one more chapter to tie this up? I'm not really inspired to write a novella, I just wanted some hospitalstuck. Which is probably a thing.  
> Why did I not think to look for a hospitalstuck tag til now?  
> As always, thanks for reading


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